My Gift To You: Celebs Looking Unfortunate!!

Is there anything more satisfying, more warming to the cockles of my catty little heart, than a treasure trove of photos of stars looking really bad? Obviously not. Thank you, Stylelist, for this gift, which I now bestow upon y'all in the spirit of holiday giving. Clickest-thou:

Before They Had Stylists: When Celebs Got It Wrong

Oh my gosh, it's just delicious. And by "delicious" I mean "cringe-inducing," especially since these photos - many at least a decade old - remind us mainly not how totally uncool the celeb was, but how uncool the ERA was. I mean, these ladies were actually doing okay by the standards of the time, which is the real oucher. Katherine Heigl wearing shimmery white hose, a sundress of questionable origin and ugly white sandals? Dude, that was the ultra-chic uniform of all the girls at my eighth-grade graduation. Let's see, the photo's from 1995; yup, that could even be HER middle-school moving-on ceremony we're witnessing. Angelina Jolie looking deathly pale and vampiric in a (faux?) leather shapeless long coat? Yeah, that was 1998, all right. I think that's what the coolest girl the grade above me was wearing, except with a ripped petticoat skirt underneath. Anne Hathaway looking truly embarrassing in lace-up jeans and a halter top from the kids' section? Um, I definitely had those jeans except they were shorts. Sigh. But wait - Anne, this says it's 2001. I take it back. YIKES. I also really love Drew Barrymore in gigantic unidentifiable clothing items with some barely-visible much-worn Doc Martens. She looks dreadful. And yet, I remember that hair and makeup of hers; that was during her reign as a style icon in Seventeen magazine. This photo was probably in the trend pages. Katie Holmes's shapeless [do I sense a theme here?], unflattering black dress circa 1998? You know, it's starting to look pretty good, relatively speaking.

[Remember Disturbing Behavior? Yeah, you do. Oh, crop-tops.]

Point is, while we love to point and laugh and say "thank the lordy these poor pathetic fashionless chicks got stylists to put 'em in their place," what we really mean is "thank god time has passed, styles have changed, and we've already forgotten not only that huge, chunky black shoes were cool, but that we ourselves proudly owned several pairs: chunky stretch-top slides, chunky-heeled sandals, and best of all, CHUNKY MULES."

You're welcome!

Things I Love Thurs: ACNE ON SALE IN OC!

No, zits aren't discounted at Seth Cohen's house... hot Swedish denim-&-more brand Acne is on extra sale tomorrow only at too-cool-for-words Opening Ceremony. How's THAT for better than you thought, huh?

Or maybe no one fell for my pathetic attempt at verbal trickery and y'all know about the sale and will be expertly combing the racks before you even read this.

Anyway, since I can't go* but maybe you can...



*(I have this obnoxious thing tomorrow called work. But I WILL be at OC on Saturday, mos def. To, um, shop for gifts, obvs.)

Confederacy - My Next Destination

I was making a list (look to your right for the current draft) of the stores I actually shop at, and it was weirdly difficult. There are certainly boutiques and lovely big department stores that I admire and check out regularly (Barney's Co-Op, Neiman's, Decades, Maison Mmmm Margiela, Prada, et al), but I don't actually, uh, SHOP there. So where the hell do I get my clothes, which I certainly do acquire often enough? The answer involves thrift stores and much good fortune concerning designers I've worked with, but it also shows that I don't GO to as many stores as I KNOW about. Perhaps this needs to be remedied.

First on my list: Confederacy. I've read about it twice recently, and considering it's about 2 minutes away from my house, I can't believe I haven't been there yet. It is co-run by the chick who used to co-run Satine, with which I am all too familiar, which gives me a sort of a weird feeling but not too weird since I didn't actually know Ilaria when I was working there. Point is, the lines are totally check-out-worthy (Rag & Bone! Loeffler Randall!) and there's a tea room (??!!).

-----------dailycandy says:
That’s just the way it goes at Confederacy, the east side’s new high-style emporium. It’s 5,000 square feet of fashion, beauty, art, culture, and impeccable service all the way.

Meander past the racks of girls’ Rag & Bone, Vena Cava, and Current/Elliott and the guys’ Shipley & Halmos and house line of bespoke suiting (a collabo with Stroke Albert Hammond Jr.), then wind through the courtyard cafe to find Loeffler Randall, Common Projects, and Givenchy in the shoe living room. Make an appointment for the Tea Room, and stylist Ilaria Urbinati (who co-owns the joint with Danny Masterson and Aly Mawji) will bring it all to you.

Clearly, they’re not just phoning it in.

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Anyone been yet? Opinions?? I will follow up!

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Confederacy, 4661 Hollywood Boulevard, between North Vermont and Hillhurst Avenues, Los Feliz (323-913-3040).

What The Jeez, K-Perry?

[thanks, fug girls]

A friend recently forwarded me this photo of Katy Perry, who I really really hate for her pairing of cutesy retro clothes with awful, derivative music, with the following comment:

Of all the ridiculous things I've seen a celebrity wear, this tops it. It also doesn't help that Katy Perry IS A HORRIBLE MUSICIAN. And person.

I mean really - this has got to be a joke, right? What the fuck.

I couldn't agree more:

OH em gee. dear lord. it's like...a ruler and a geisha garment? WOW.

GoFugYourself asks about the crucial flat thing:

Is it the swizzle stick for like a REALLY GIGANTIC cocktail? Is she going to use it to rap the knuckles of people who criticize her music/ensembles?

Good question. God, my eyes hurt. On the other hand, I'm kind of glad Katy Perry is so absurd; if she weren't, we'd have that many fewer opportunties to feel superior.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show '08: A Biased Report

So I was all prepared to watch tonight's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show extravaganza on CBS and be all like "Ew, this is so exploitative/tasteless/degrading/tacky, blah blah blah," since, after all, it does seem like basically an excuse for softcore porn on public television. But Dieu wanted to watch it, and dudes, it was THE GREATEST. The models were a blast to watch, the outfits were over the top, and it was like a fabulous circus of fashion. I mean, you cannot dislike a runway show that involves outfits which are not merely vaguely inspired by Greek goddesses, but which do "Greek goddess" better than the Greek goddesses themselves did it:

There were so many wings. I LOVE THE WINGS.

"The theme of the show is a return to glamour," said company CEO Sharen Turney. Wow, I'm shocked. "Victoria's Secret is about sexy [NO, REALLY?] and the new sexy is glamorous for this season." Ah, as opposed to the old sexy last season. Right. Anyway, the show started off with this ass-kicking goddess theme. There was some armor in there, and some bitchin' gladiator sandals.

Pierre Hardy is the most amazing shoe designer, and I always think "But what would I wear with these?" when I try on his hallucinatory metallic empire-state-building shoes. Armored lingerie, OBVIOUSLY.

This sweet scoopy-back dress was part of the black/white theme that proceeded, and it wasn't as slutty as it looks here. It was adorable. But adorable doesn't hold a candle to TOTALLY AWESOME, which is what describes the butterfly-wing-themed part of the show...

OH MY GOD. This was to die for. We gasped. There is CLEARLY no better fate in life than to walk around in lace, Pierre Hardys, and a giant cloud of floating butterflies.

Though satin, Pierre Hardys and a fur coat made of feathers wouldn't be too bad either.

Next up was the PINK part of the show, which started out with synchronized retro-swimsuited dancers and then made a very convincing argument for why lingerie and winter coats should always be worn together....

Aren't these just FUN? I have to believe that we girls got way more glee out of this than any (straight) guy would. Yeah, all the models are smoking hot, but there's no way that frat boys are sitting around their, you know, frat house drinking Bud Lights and going "God, that cropped sweater is SO CUTE! Omigosh, BUTTERFLY WINGS! Awww, she's wrapped up with a GIANT BOW!* I wish I had a giant bow!" (Not that Dieu and I said those things or anything.) This is totally a lingerie show meant for the ladies.

Also for the ladies: bra bling. Official reports state that "Models, seven of them winged angels, showed 68 outfits, including the $5 million Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra worn by Adriana Lima and designed by jeweler Martin Katz. Decorated with white and black diamonds and rubies, the bra will be for sale in the company's catalog." There's always a million-dollar (or five) bra in the Victoria's Secret show, I guess, and here's this year's:

It was kind of cool, with the swinging diamond pom-poms, but I think it would be markedly less cool if we didn't know that the sparklies were diamonds. This supports my stance on diamonds, which is that they look a lot better when you know that they're diamonds but they're really not that great. I'm sure once I own one I'll change my mind, but for now, that's my defiant opinion. The best part of the look above, IMHO, is the fantastic set of dip-dyed wings. They looked awesome floating down the runway behind her. Also, those panties do NOT seem to do a 5-million-dollar bra justice.

*Wondering about that giant bow? Heidi Klum got the best one--hot pink and covered in mega-sequins. It's so absurd that you have to love it. Plus, Heidi Klum is wearing it, and she is the most adorable, funny, so-hot-for-a-35-year-old-mother-of-three-it's-not-remotely-fair lady in the universe. One of my goals in life is to be a guest at her famous Halloween party that she hosts every year with Seal.

What was so great about the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (and yes, I know I'm a major latecomer and the show's been going on for years, but I told you, I thought I'd hate it):
-the models were all healthy-looking, super-fit, girls who looked like they were having the time of their lives
-the lingerie itself was not that thrilling, but the other parts of the outfits were just so crazy you had to love them.
-it was a nice reminder that fashion doesn't always have to be all serious and, like, tasteful.

-it put me in the best mood ever and made me want to jump around in high heels and plaid bikinis and fur.


Now for those Pierre Hardys I've been eyeing...

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[news source: sawf. photo credits: luxist, bitten & bound, CBS]